Memories Long Forgotten
by Seeress
Summary: Her green eyes reflected the blueness of the ocean as she stared into it's icy depths, searching for herself within it... Who am I?


Memories Long Forgotten

_Disclaimer:_ Unfortunately for me, I don't own Esca.

_Author's Notes: _A little story for Hitomi when she's old. What if she forgets everything? Everything: her name, family, and friends. What if she forgot Van, and her entire adventure on Gaea? What would things be like? And please, don't ask why I chose the beach. I just really love beaches and it seemed like the perfect place for her to be.

Should I write a sequel to this? Or did I do a totally horrible job? As always, any comments/criticism would be greatly appreciated! Hope you enjoy!

~Seeress 

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Memories Long Forgotten

By Seeress

A lady with the stray strands of her brownish-grey hair flailing behind her, walked along the shores of the beach. She took her time, seeming as if she had not a care in the world. She was a tall, thin woman, and she walked with remarkable grace. She wore a short navy blue skirt just above her knees, and a matching chemise. Her face looked much younger than she truly was, an oval-shaped face with skin as smooth as silk. Only her hair, starting to turn a dark grey, even hinted that she was beyond her sixties, a senior citizen for some time. From looking at her it was easy to tell she must've been quite a beauty in her days.

The sun was starting to set, and many families and young couples had headed home, wanting to be back in their shelters before dark, leaving the beach deserted. The waves lapsed onto the sand, reaching out with invisible hands before falling back to regroup and reach out again. The sky was tinted a deep magenta, a colour so familiar to the woman, yet she couldn't quite remember. Buildings and trees were black silhouettes against the blazing sky. Her green eyes reflected the blueness of the ocean as she stared into its icy depths, searching for herself within it. 

_Who am I?_

Nothing was clear to her anymore. No one she remembered. Everything seemed so familiar and yet so different. She wouldn't even be able to find her way home.

_'Home,'_ she thought. _'Where is my home? Do I even have a home to go to?'_ Her mind was clouded, not that that was something new. She had long since ceased to remember anything, not even her own name. She wondered about her life, for that was all she was able to do. The beach was her favourite place to go, though; somehow, the sound of the waves calmed her, both inside and out. Taking in a deep breath of fresh ocean air, she took off her sandals and gently placed them on the sand while she walked into the waves and let the water wash over her feet. 

_Who am I?_ For the millionth time the question repeated in the woman's head. Unable to answer her own question, the woman continued to walk along the shores of the beach, the foamy ocean water hitting her ankles and soaking the sand.

A soft breeze swept by her; somehow, it had the scent of fields and meadows, and it formed pictures in her head. She thought of a house in the prairies, a beautiful summer day, a field full of flowers, and… something else. No- more like **someone** else. Someone… gentle, loving. Someone she might've known before. She scrunched her eyes and furrowed her eyebrows in frustration. She hated not knowing, she hated having to wonder all the time. It was a never-ending case of déjà vu for her, where this is familiar, and that rings a bell. She had nothing to hold on to, nothing solid, or steady.

_You always have the ocean,_ a little voice in her head said.

_What good will the ocean do me?_ She asked back, finding it a little strange she was arguing with little voices in her head.

_You know it's familiar, and it calms you,_ the voice replied. _Isn't that enough?_

_Enough?_ She snorted, and scared herself for she hadn't spoken or even made a sound ever since she got to the beach. 

The sound seemed strange, out of place somehow; every human sound disturbing the melody of the natural world seemed outlandish. Here, only the waves and calls of the birds felt right. The quiet solitude of natural sounds instead of the honking and yelling and screaming in the wild city streets. Here, she sought solace, trying to rid herself of the painful half memories that were almost like a dream. Dreams that she would never remember… or was it dreams she never got to complete? She really couldn't tell the difference between the two, and she certainly found it hard to tell the difference between dreams and reality. Was she even awake right now, or was she in just another dream that seemed so real?

A cloud drifted above, temporarily blocking the sun. The woman looked up to see the last of the celestial orb hanging just above the horizon before it went to rest that night. She stared at the sphere; the colour it gave off reminded her of something… a something very much like… someone's eyes. As if to confirm her suspicion, the sun separated into two, and the outline of a face magically traced itself around those two magenta ovals.

She stepped back, a little startled by what she was seeing. She closed her eyes and shook her head, as if to clear her vision. After blinking rapidly a couple of times, she mustered her courage and looked back; the face was gone, and the sun had set below the horizon now. Everything seemed normal enough.

She felt coldness around her legs, and looked down to find she had paddled knee-deep into the chilly shadowy water. When she had done that, she couldn't tell, and found it a miracle she hadn't noticed what she was doing at all. 

Climbing back onto the dry sand, she tried to dry herself off as best as she could. She wasn't aware that night was approaching so quickly, and when she looked again she saw that the last trace of light had died with the departure of the sun and the moon was full out in the night sky along with the millions of shining stars.

Sighing, she supposed she should make a move to go somewhere. Where exactly she didn't know; surely there was a shelter for old homeless folks like herself somewhere. She walked numbly in the opposite direction of the ocean, until a sharp pain underneath her foot brought her senses back to life. She looked down, and saw that a broken shell had cut her bare left foot, a trickle of blood oozing from the wound. Wearily, she realized she had left her sandals quite a way back. She saw her own small footsteps in the sand, and knew she had a long walk if she wanted to retrieve them. She wouldn't of bothered really, but they were the only pair of shoes she had and she wasn't quite sure how long it would take her to get to a homeless shelter, to get to a new pair of shoes. Fighting the urge to just leave them, the woman traced her footsteps back to her sandals.

The moon and stars above shone enough light for her in the darkness. Once, she had looked up toward the moon and found that she saw two glowing globes hanging there instead of one. She had rubbed her eyes, and when she looked back, only the moon was left there to hang forlornly by itself. That other orb had looked much like the earth, so beautifully rich and full of life. In some way, she felt that the mysterious planet she saw belonged there, to be partner of both the Earth and Moon, suspended in space forever as silent companions. 

The night was catching up to her; her hands were starting to get cold and she felt her eyelids get heavier with each step that she took. But somehow, she had managed to push herself to walk all the way back to her sandals, and had to literally dig them out of the sand that had come in with the high tide. In her exhaustion, she almost didn't notice a single white feather sitting beneath her shoes.

Gingerly, she bent down and picked it up. She had thought it was a bird's feather, but it was much too large to be from any type of bird around the area. Although it was buried, there wasn't a single speck of sand on it. It was the purest white feather she had ever seen, as soft and downy as silk. For a moment, the woman thought it was from an angel.

Dismissing her imagination and laughing at herself, she stroked the feather gently with the back of her hand. She didn't know why, but somehow she felt so strangely drawn to the feather, as if it were part of her. As if she had done a million times before, she lifted the feather up to her cheek, caressing it gently and lightly touching it to her lips. It was warm to the touch, and its enchantment gave her a sudden spurt of hope. Hope for herself, and for a brighter future.

Smiling gently, she held the feather close to her heart. It was like the feather had opened her eyes for the first time, and gave a new sense of meaning in her life. She whispered a prayer of thanks to whoever sent it to her, before tucking it safely into her pocket. Strapping on her sandals quickly, she bounded off for town with renewed energy. There was merriment in her step, and a twinge of happiness radiated from her. As she looked back past the beach and into the horizon, she realized there was so much more she wasn't seeing. Such a big world was out there, just waiting for her. And maybe beyond the horizon, somewhere out there, she might be able to find out who she was, and piece together her life. She might be able to feel whole again. If she looked hard enough, maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to remember. She'd be able to remember… memories long forgotten.

*END*  



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